Ode to the Floater Election Judge

Election Day, 2012

4:30 a.m.: An ungodly hour by anyone’s estimation, made worse by a sinus headache and scratchy throat.  Since it is such an ungodly hour, my inner voice that typically tells me not to “go there,” offers a very depraved thought that is somewhere along the lines of, “Well, if I must be there all day – perhaps I can pass my cold to others.”  Give me a break, we all have these thoughts at some point, and 4:35 a.m. in my bathroom, looking at the dark circles under my eyes, and the twisted, ratty matt that is my hair is when I do it.  Deal with it…

5:15 a.m.:

Travel cup filled – check

Lunch packed – check (hope there is a microwave!)

Medicine for the day – check

Snacks – check

5:32 a.m.:

Bag with all the above items (except coffee- or as I like to call it, “the elixir of life”) – left in vehicle in my haste to get into the building on time – check

Long day ahead virtually assured.

               

The room is filled with approximately 40 other floater judges, as we wait for assignments to come in and send us to various polling places.  So happy I did not leave my coffee in the truck.

8:15 a.m.:  A handful of people have left.  I am now officially awake.  I really hope they have not called my name as I tried to appear fully cognizant reading my book; in all actuality, I was completely zoning out.

9:38 a.m.:  About 1/3 have been assigned.  There are pockets of people striking up conversations and temporary friendships that will last for this day only, and be a mere memory hereafter.  This is one of those moments in time that will be followed with “the woman I sat next to on election day – she was really a nice person – what was her name? Oh, well, no matter” recollections.  Right now, most everyone in the room is engaging in this ritual.  I am possibly the only one who is not.  Well, the guy next to me is not, either.  He has his back to me, using the counter to “do work,” which is what he told someone who tried to engage him in a temporary friendship.  How very non-descript – I expect he is lying (or taking notes about all of us, which is just rude!).  I am at the back of the room, alone, which is odd because I am usually very social and great at the temporary friendship to make the time pass.  Must be the sinus headache.

9:45 a.m.:  Coffee is empty.  All hope is now gone.

10:15 a.m.:  Donuts!  Less excited because there is no coffee – but suffering through like the champ I am in these adverse conditions.

11:09 a.m.:  Meds wearing off.  Am acutely aware that they are sitting in the front seat of my truck, basically ineffective.  Have emailed husband from my iPhone, blaming him.  Later I will claim it was due to  illness. 

The busy man next to me has turned around, apparently done with his “work.”  I discover he is a pastor – not so much from talking to him, but rather the tell-tale collar of the clergy.  Apparently, he was busy.  I endeavor not to judge people in the future, especially ones that seem to have a higher calling, and probably have their calls to the “higher” answered.  Bad juju – probably one step closer to hell. 

11:24 a.m.:  Am in love with a younger man.  He has appeared with two (count them – 2!) boxes of coffee (which is similar to the box o’ wine, but better!). 

Have succumbed to the pastor next to me – we are now temporary buddies.  I am sure I have made a wise decision, as it can only help to have him as a friend, even temporarily, given his occupation, as well as his long-term friends.  He has informed me that if we are not assigned by noon, we are dismissed, but still paid for the entire day.  We are now waiting for noon.

11:58 a.m.:  My new temporary friend keeps looking at the clock, and has informed me we are in the clear, with only two minutes left.  “What could come up in two minutes?”  He is very excited at the prospect of going home to sit, and getting paid for it (because sitting here, doing nothing and getting paid for it is a hardship).

Noon:  Jinxed.  I have broken all temporary friendship ties with the pastor, and will not go to his church.

I head out to my assignment, a 25 minute drive away.  First stop, Starbucks, where I buy two Venti coffees.  Don’t judge me.

Veterans' Day from a Veteran's POV

    This year I actually want something for Veterans Day. I know it has become a day where we all say, "thank you," to a veteran. Either a veteran we know or one we find in uniform. As one in uniform, I want to be the first to say that I sincerely appreciate the consideration displayed when someone thanks me. Not really for myself, but for my family, for my troops, for those that have given more than I have, and especially for those that are not around to receive it. You honor them with your thanks and on this one one small issue I will endeavor to speak for all veterans when I say that the pleasure has been ours to serve you.
    Veterans Day started as Armistice Day by Woodrow Wilson on November 11th, 1919. On June 1st, 1954 by act of Congress, it became known as Veterans Day. It was designed to reflect with solemn pride the victory achieved on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. It was supposed to mark the end of the war to end all wars, World War I. World War I was especially bloody because it at once recognized a great leap forward in technology and leadership that was unable to change to the new environment. Unfortunately, those that crafted the armistice demanded too great a price in their arrogance and in ignorance set the stage for the next world war.
    Now, we get to the part where I distance myself from my fellow veterans and make a request. It is not the usual request, and many will scratch their heads, and wonder why I would make it. If you value veterans, however, then I want you to thank someone that says something that truly offends you. Shake hands with the friend that opposes your politics. Comment positively on an online article by the journalist that endeavors to expose flaws in the policy you love or the candidate you support. I want you to do it in the same spirit that the veteran serves after someone burns the flag of our great nation; sings loudly over the voice that doesn't know the words to the national anthem; bites his tongue when someone fails to salute the flag properly, or instruct their children not to be disrespectful during the Pledge of Allegiance or America the Beautiful, or bows his head in quiet reflection when someone is censored or jailed for exercising their rights. Nothing that I can think of offends a veteran (or at least this one) more than these actions, yet it is proof positive that our work and sacrifice was successful and not in vain. So after 26 years, I have these simple requests.
    While you are thanking a vet, remember to thank his spouse. They are the forgotten entity in the remembrance of sacrifice, because their sacrifice does not involve placing their lives on the line. Their job requires maintaining the status quo while their spouse fights for your rights. Don't know who they are? They are the people who cannot get a job because their résumé shows that they do do not stay at one position for more than a year or two at most. They are the ones who cannot always be at the PTA meeting because they are the only parent that can drive each child to their respective sporting events, and cheer for each, even if it is for only five minutes before leaving to pick up the other child. They are the ones that will not go to "Girls Night Out" because they may miss a call from their deployed spouse, and may not have another chance for a month. They need thanks also; but mostly they need support.
     So smile at the person who offends you; they are helping to keep you free. Listen attentively and respectfully to your friend that opposes your view; they are keeping the process free. Thank the journalist that reveals things you wish they hadn't before the upcoming election; they have just ensured your vote is of free will and not of ignorant mind. Heartily thank those who offend you, it is what every (or at least, this) veteran does when you thank him. In a time where the lines of civility, friendship and acceptance of others has been blurred, it seems imperative to remember why veterans are needed. Veterans fight the good fight; the fight that must be waged. It is the security, retention and protection of the rights that we all hold so dear. So keep this in mind this Veterans Day - every time a veteran is offended, he knows he has done his job.

The Gore-y Details of Hurricane Sandy and Global Warming

            Grant money!  Every major event is an opportunity to pocket some cash if you are smart about it and position yourself just right.  Hurricane Sandy was bound to break out the moneybags for those that have positioned themselves in the Global Warming apocalypse crowd.  Go to the internet and both sides are speaking “truth” at you (and I choose “at” deliberately.)  So, is there any hope of finding truth?  Not really because this is a well crafted conspiracy theory type argument so either side can argue that it is isolated data or watered down data.  The new fence sitters choose the position of Global Climate Change which is really just the sister sorority of Oxygen Breathers R Us.  We are all now unwitting pawns in a greed struggle.  What the whole argument lacks is a healthy dose of common sense.

            Plenty of evidence exists to support science’s claim that the planet has endured dramatic freezing and thawing cycles.  Apparently, the solid rock beneath our feet that we take for granted is actually hurtling through space at a rather high rate of speed and while on a fairly predictable orbit about the Sun it experiences slight variations and shifts in the tilt of its axis.  There have been at least five major Ice Ages on the planet Earth, the Huronian, the Cryogenian, the Andean-Saharan, the Karoo, and the Quaternary glaciation.  In the Quaternary glaciation one can count as many as eight interglacials, the most recent of which ended 20,000 years ago[i].  20,000 years ago, aren’t we about due for another?  Well, indeed apparently others caught on to that question as well; so starting in the 1940’s we can witness a steady rise in hypotheses of global cooling.

            Remember when most of us were in school and the next Ice Age was coming?  In the 1960’s saw the steady rise of interest in this subject becoming formalized at conferences and in studies.  In 1968, Paul R. Ehrlich wrote The Population Bomb, and referenced the “greenhouse effect” created by increases in carbon dioxide that cause global cooling.[ii]  Where have we heard that one recently…oh yeah, that is the alleged cause of global warming.  Do not have one of these people draw your bath water!  This hysteria reached its climax (I resisted using climatic climax) circa 1975.  Newsweek magazine pointed to "ominous signs that the Earth's weather patterns have begun to change" and pointed to "a drop of half a degree [Fahrenheit] in average ground temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere between 1945 and 1968."  The article claimed, "The evidence in support of these predictions [of global cooling] has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologists are hard-pressed to keep up with it.[iii]"  Ah, the makings of a conspiracy theory, the evidence is insurmountable and the experts just can’t keep up.  Oh well, this is still a moneymaker for Hollywood into the 80’s.

            Now fast forward, and add the fact that apparently being an ex-Vice President is not a highly sought after or desirable job, which necessitates supplemental income.  If the data fell through on global cooling maybe we can just start from there and call it global warming.  Victory and cash!  Couple of convenient books later and the conspiracy argument is complete and ready to defend against all critics.  If it is exceptionally cold, then global warming causes dramatic vacillations.  If it is a hot summer day, well, then duh.  Have a case of severe weather?  Well, do I have an argument for you.  This brings us eventually to Hurricane Sandy, the most recent and tragically devastating storm to hit the East coast.  In true Saul Alinsky form, never miss an opportunity to capitalize (irony intended) on a catastrophe.  Cue the media to capture the stunned New Jersey resident looking at his flattened house and saying, “this only happens in Missouri.”  Replay and print!

            That’s it, right?  Not everyone is on board.  I know, we have already dealt with those too ignorant to perceive the truth.  But what if unlike most of us who are merely participants in the planets daily weather game, these naysayers were experts?  One is an outspoken chief meteorologist of Accuweather.  Reliable source?  Don’t know; but I do know I determine whether my commute will be by car or by motorcycle everyday based on Accuweather and am rarely disappointed.  In a transcript from a recent radio appearance Joe Bastardi states, “My father used to call it “the shortcut storm.” He said he was confident he would see it before his days were numbered, and he's finally seen it, okay? That's the first thing. Second thing is, get used to it along the East Coast. Maybe not this kind of track, but we are in a perilous time because the Atlantic's warm; the Pacific's cold. It's the 1950s all over again. It has nothing to do with global warming, it has everything to do with nature, and then we'll go back to where we were in the sixties and seventies.[iv]”

            So who is right?  Not sure.  But as long as people are profiting from their version, I choose to be skeptical, especially in the face of dramatic evidence that this planet has endured massive changes long before and I’m sure long after man.  Add to that we are merely riders on an intergalactic baseball subject to odd fluctuations.  If that isn’t enough to give you pause, then spend a little time at sea, weathering a couple of storms out there is good for clarity and reflection.

---

[i] . "Global Cooling." Wikipedia. N.p.. Web. 1 Nov 2012. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_cooling>.

[ii] Ibid

[iii] Peter Gwynne (April 28, 1975). "The Cooling World". Newsweek.

[iv] . "Bastardi: Global Warming Didn't Cause Sandy." Fox Nation. N.p., 30 2012. Web. 1 Nov 2012. <http://nation.foxnews.com/global-warming/2012/10/30/bastardi-global-warming-didnt-cause-sandy>.

We're Here For You...No, Wait...We're Here For Them!

So, I have been silent on the whole New York City Mayor, Michael Bloomberg’s apparent need to correct the ails of the world, or New York City, at any rate, one Big Gulp at a time.  In a time when New York and New Jersey residents are in need of assistance to make it through another day, however, the Mayor and New York City Marathon Race officials have determined that it is in the best interests to “let the show go on.”

Really?  With thousands of people without power, it is a better use of those massive generators to sit and warm the little toes of the judges as they drink coffee in their heated tent?  The people who are surrounded by salt water, without a single drop to drink should realize that the cases and cases of water being delivered for the race participants is a better use of those resources?

The argument for the race continuing is that it generates a great deal of revenue for the city.  Great.  However, at what cost?  People not only in New York and New Jersey, but across the country are wondering what the heck is going on.  Why have this race when people are trying to figure out where they are going to live now that their houses and all their belongings are either out to sea, or buried under 10 feet of sand?

Mayor Bloomberg is criticizing the critics by stating, "For those who were lost, you've got to believe they would want us to have an economy and have a city go on for those that they left behind."  Not even you, Mayor Bloomberg, could be that arrogant to think that people who lost their lives would support using resources for runners over sending it to their loved ones that are trying to survive on nothing.  The fact that he could even invoke the dead in support of this decision shows how completely out of touch he is with what has actually happened in his city and state.  People have no food, and are resorting to dumpster diving to find something to eat.  People have no water to drink, no gas for their generators, and nowhere to go after the shelter that has been their home for the past week, finally closes up and sends them packing.

Race officials point to post 9/11 New York, and the decision at that time to go forward with the race despite the horrendous terrorist attacks.  Wow, can you compare apples to oranges to bananas?  That is truly – well, BANANAS!  While it is true that the race was a source of pride for New Yorkers post 9/11, and was used as a way to show the world the city’s resilience, there are two major differences between then and now.  First, New York was essentially giving the finger to Bin Laden and his minions through an alliteration of “you can kick us, but you cannot keep us down!”  Exactly whom is Mayor Bloomberg and the NYRR trying to shove the finger at in this situation?  Mother Nature?  Good call…I would not do it, but hey, that’s just me.  I also would not have this race!

Second, New Yorkers supported the race in 2001.  It only works if everyone is behind it.  It is a great idea if it actually inspires people, and makes them say, “yeah, we may be down, but we are not out!”  Instead what you have is people waiting in line for hours on end for gas to fill their generators, only to find that the gas station has been out of gas for the past hour, and now have to find another open station and play the same waiting game.  People will not back an action were they perceive the city is catering to visitors and not taking care of their own.  They do not care that there is the potential of big revenues.  They want heat, and coffee, and water, and a tent!  They want enough power in their neighborhood to charge their cell phones so they can contact people and agencies in order to get help, and start back on the road to recovery.  They don’t want some skinny Kenyan running through the streets to cheers and accolades, they want the skinny Kenyan to bring them his bottle of water and give them his shoes, since they haven’t had a dry pair on in days.

Just as post 9/11 brought the country together, and people donated money, supplies, clothes, whatever they could to help out New Yorkers, we are all doing it again.  We are here for the people of New York and New Jersey.  NYRR, however, stated “These are our private generators.  We are not draining any resources from the city’s plan to recover.”  The City’s plan to recover includes getting resources to all those affected, and includes donations from private individuals and entities to aide in that effort.  So, why not put them to good use?  Take them into a neighborhood, and give people power for a day.  Ask the race participants to forego the race, and help with recovery.  Have them run around passing out water bottles, purification tablets, clothes, shoes, diapers, anything!  Ask them to frequent their favorite restaurants in New York, and then ask them to donate food to a homeless family in a shelter.   

I firmly believe the show must go on…I just don’t agree with the show they have chosen.  It should not be the New York City Marathon; it should be the People of New York and New Jersey – We Will Survive and Be Stronger!